Self-sufficiency is the new necessity for women

by Susan Riley, Head of Think Stylist

Four years ago, Think Stylist began charting the revolution of female singledom. We released a report called Women at 30 in which we identified a trend that I called “No More Bridget Jones”; my way of saying that the ice cream-eating, tissue-reaching, Darcy-pining imagery of single life was over and in its place was a new, empowered singleton making her presence felt.

We reported fewer women in relationships than the decade before (38% in relationships now versus 46% 10 years prior) and that only 21% felt compelled to be in a relationship. Around the same time, a Morgan Stanley report also estimated that 45% of women aged 25-45 will be single and child-free by 2030; a projected increase of 41% over 12 years.

Since then, these ‘No More Bridgets’ have grown gloriously in size and attitude. The high education, high-earning, financial independence-yearning continues apace (38% of Stylist women are the chief income earner in their household), translating into even more autonomy and even less need to settle.

The desire for self-growth and self-love has only been intensifying – as has the investment and cultivation of all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. As a result, female friendship and sisterhood have taken on even greater importance. The quest to define new life milestones has also taken on greater urgency and the realisation that we are carrying far too much of the domestic and emotional load is also more prevalent. Independence is now a valued life strategy.

And I’m particularly loving how loudly we are shouting about it. In recent months we’ve had The New York Times deliberating on why now is the era of relationship discontent and Vogue even suggesting that having a boyfriend is embarrassing.

Our regular conversations with the Think Stylist panel have also revealed a renewed quest for self-sufficiency. They talk of friends trapped in relationships they can’t leave of due to a lack of means or knowledge, and of their thirst to learn more about life skills (investing, DIY, car maintenance) that will further increase their autonomy and freedom.

And it’s across all ages. While Gen Zers tell us marriage and kids just aren’t up there on the list of priorities, you’ve also got Gen Xers reasserting their sense of selves. Just this week, influencer and commentator Kat Farmer talked about how there’s a growing army of ‘walkaway wives’ aged 45-65 calling time on their marriages in search of something more as they focus on their own fulfilment. On socials, the likes of @thesinglewoman (Mandy Hale-Gautsch) boldly bash out memes that that read: “From now on when people ask why I’m not in a relationship I’ll say it’s a supply chain issue.”

The galvanisation of the solo women has been spurred on by everything and anything around us over the last decade. Take the success of books like Michelle Obama’s Becoming (2018) and Untamed; Stop Pleasing, Start Living by Glennon Doyle (2020). And then there are media companies like Hello Sunshine, launched by Reese Witherspoon in 2016 to portray female protagonists in positions of authorship and power. Look at Taylor Swift asserting contractual and economic power in her lawsuit with Scooter Braun or Gisèle Pelicot becoming a global voice for victims of sexual abuse and violence. Meanwhile, the ongoing battle for truth around the Epstein files has revealed that patriarchy is well and truly in control. This reveals a world where women exist at the periphery to serve the desires of men.

All of these factors combine to highlight inequalities that are so slow to be addressed, and this only further fuels our desire for autonomy. Over our bodies, our money, our relationships. Everything.

For brands that cater to women, it’s vital to understand that this growing high-autonomy demographic is not a niche – she is a core economic driver of modern retail signalling a massive change in consumer behaviour. She holds huge purchasing power without partner negotiation. She is more intentional and has a strong “I’ve earned it” mindset. She is redefining luxury. She’s buying tech independently. She’s making aesthetic decisions solo. She’s less likely to compromise on upgrades. She will only respond to self-centric marketing.

It's essential that brands now, more than ever, reflect the growth and ambition she feels right back at her. And even more importantly, that they help her redefine what it means to be a woman who has realised she’s more than enough.

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